What are the chances that you might ever find yourself behind bars? You have probably figured everything out now, like seriously, you don’t have a drop of crime in your blood. The most that might ever get you behind bars is probably a jail sleepover for DUI, some bar brawl or participation in some unwarranted protest. You can tell yourself that once you avoid all that you are good to go. Such a simple life.
[…lets out a manic laughter]
Think again! You can be arrested for ANYTHING. And we are sure that by the time you are done reading this, you may have a few questions for our judicial system. Let’s take a break at some weird reasons arrests have been made in the U.S due to some policing discrepancies.
In Possession of Homemade Soaps
In a chain of reactions which must have started after subscribing to some DIY website and YouTube channels, Alexander Bernstein and Annadel Cruz found themselves spending a month in jail for homemade soaps. The duo were pulled over in Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, and after a search, the attending troopers booked them for cocaine trafficking charges.
They were in possession of two bars of homemade soap, and the cops found it hard to believe that cocaine was not part of the ingredients. The soaps were tested; the test results came back positive. Few judicial proceedings occurred, and the couple spent about a month in jail due to the high amount of bail set at $250,000 for Cruz and $500,000 for Bernstein.
Luckily for them, the charges were dropped after a test result from a state lab found no traces of illicit substances in the soaps.
See No Gun, Say No Gun
Well, while it is true that if you notice a suspicious activity, you should alert the authorities or people around, in some cases, you might just want to mind your business. Once upon a not-so-good day in the year 2013, Robert Gursky went to his bank for some routine money business when “OMG! Someone with a gun! I should probably inform the teller so the security team can be discretely alerted.” Well, according to reports, all our friend Rob did was to write the word “gun,” and give it to the teller. Boom! The bank’s staff initiated a robbery protocol, the police arrived and arrested Rob.
Well, that seems to be an understandable misunderstanding. So, why did he get arrested? What happened to the gun bearer?
The dude carrying the gun was cited as having no ill intents, and the gun was legally obtained. Meanwhile, Rob was arrested for breaching the peace.
Ashley Huff is a jolly good American, casually driving through Gainesville, Georgia, when she got stopped by cops for a routine stop and search. During the search, guts and instincts led the cop to search Ashley’s bag, when a dirty spoon was found inside her bag. Despite her insistence that the residue on the spoon was as a result of the SpaghettiOs she ate earlier, the officers were certain the residue was methamphetamine.
Ash: (crying) I swear that’s the sauce from SpaghettiOs I ate
Cop: Look woman, we know you have been eating meth.
They took the spoon for a test, and the officers got ecstatic when it came back positive, charged her possession of meth and threw her behind bars for two weeks. Got released, and thrown back in jail for another six weeks before a thorough test identified the residue as SpaghettiO sauce.
Pheeeeww! That was some elusive sauce. Don’t SpaghettiO and drive next time, Ashley.
Moral of the story: Always lick your spoon clean.
Jolly Ranchers: Not Another Mistaken Illicit Substance Story
Have you ever seen some fancifully colored candy, and thought, “this will be a good cover for meth.” Well, if you haven’t, some New York cop has, and he got Love Olantunjiojo and his friends arrested for being in possession of Jolly Ranchers. According to the cop, he found some “crystalline rocks of solid material” on Olantunjiojo, and there was no way he could confirm otherwise without a test. A quick field test, the results came back positive!
Cop: there you have it boys, these tests are always 100% accurate.
The Jolly Rancher-licking dudes were thrown behind bars. Some lab tests later, the Jolly Ranchers lacked any atom of illicit meth in them. Olatunjiojo and his friends got released, but they were having none of that; they filed a lawsuit and received a $33,000 settlement. Good one boys!
But really, on a scale of one-to-infinity, how many tests does it take to get an accurate field test result?
Florida is popularly associated with the weird lot and some of the weirdest stories. That might partially explain the cop in this story was edgy, especially as it is 2 a.m. and the culprit was walking alone. Joseph Stoiber was taking what seems to be a casual stroll around his Florida neighborhood when a cop got suspicious of him. According to the cop, he thought Joseph had a suspicious package in his pocket. And to clear his doubts, he confronted Joseph for a stop and search, gently asked if he could search him, but Stoiber refused. Notwithstanding the casual denial of consent, the cop proceeded to pat him down, just in the middle of the pat-down, Stoiber spat on the ground.
Apparently, Stoiber has been chewing tobacco, and it was just about the right time to spit some of that out. As well, it was about the right time the cop thought that spitting on the ground is an offense that deserves jail time. Stoiber was thrown in jail and wasn’t released till he posted a $250 bail. Some long time later, the arresting officer was disciplined.
Whatever you do, never be the dude that got arrested for spitting on the ground. That won’t look good on any criminal record – how do you start explaining it?
The Book Thief
Apparently, you can borrow a book from your friend and never return it, but your local library might not tolerate that bullshit. Words can’t describe how shocked Jory Enck was when the cops came knocking.
Cops: the report we have here says you stole a book Jory: I might have stolen a few change from momma’s purse as a kid, but I swear by Jupiter, I have never stolen a book.
Jory was arrested in 2013 for stealing some QED study guide from the library three years back. This was months after Texas enacted a law which ruled that not returning a library book can be classified as theft.
Frankly, we think that Jory should have returned the book the first time his mind told him, “I don’t know, maaaan. I think we should return that QED study guide.” After his release, Jory was reported as saying that he will probably just purchase books from Amazon next time. Too late, pal, you now have a record.